Will You Be My Only?
by xx.archimedes
Summary: Remus has feeling for Sirius. Sirius has feelings for Remus. Remus almost dies. Sirius saves him, but what happens when James gets in the way of their happiness? SLASH S&R. It's finished. [cries]
1. Chapter 1

**Okay. This is my new Sirius/Remus fic. I have an addiction to them. Because Sirius and Remus are just...madhotlove. Majorly. Anywho, this is SLASH. You no like slash, you no read. It's simple.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Don't you feel sorry for me? Teehee.**

**On with the story! -...Please Read and Review!**

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Ch. 1: Reuniting

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**Remus J. Lupin sat in a train compartment on the Hogwarts Express, looking out at the blur of brown and green and blue that made up the outside world. He looked older than his young age of 17 years, a wise light in his pale, sparkling, blue eyes. A disease had made him wise beyond his years, a disease that he wished had never rendered his body. Lycanthropy. Yes, Remus J. Lupin, was a werewolf, a monster. Dark, blonde, shaggy hair hung to just below his ears, and his pale skin shone, mottled with numerous scars from his transformations, in the slowly setting sun. Sighing, his thoughts drifted...

Suddenly, loud yelling reached his overly sensitive werewolf ears. Next came different colored flashes of light, and then a deafening silence. That was weird. Raucous laughter erupted, and Remus rolled his hauntingly pale blue eyes in recognition. James Potter and Peter Pettigrew stumbled in through the doorway, tears of mirth flowing down their faces.

As the last of the Marauders stumbled in, slightly more handsome then the others with his shoulder-length, elegant, ebony hair and warm, shining, dark eyes, Remus' breath hitched in his throat.

_Merlin, he's even more beautiful than when I saw him last, if that's even possible. _

It was Sirius Black. _His_ Sirius. The werewolf had fallen in love with the young man three years ago, on this very same train..

_James, Sirius, and Peter all stumbled in the compartment to greet Remus with their roaring laughter. They had just come from their annual Welcome Back Slytherins prank. Generally, Remus didn't join in on the 'fun'. He was the quiet, wise, intelligent one. The one that kept all of the Marauders grounded. James stumbled in first, always in the lead. A natural leader at his young fourteen years. His pitch black hair stuck up in every direction, ever the unmanigable mop. However, the ladies seemed to love his I-just-got-off-a-broom-cause-I'm-cool-like-that look. The kind sparkling hazel eyes behind his black rimmed glasses radiated from the light of a good prank. _

_Peter Pettigrew stumbled in next. A small boy for the age of fourteen and roundish, too. His small beady, black eyes watered in his mirth, and his short, light, blonde hair lay limply on his chubby head. Idolizing Sirius and James seemed to be his only mission in life, and he stuck to it. Although unattractive, he was still part of the pack. They never deserted their own, no matter how ugly. _

_Lastly, came Sirius Black. His slightly wavy, shoulder-length, ebony hair fell elegantly against his broad, muscular shoulders, even after the unceremonious stumbling. Dark, handsome, brown eyes shone in their laughter. One could tell, even though Sirius had a jumper and jeans on, how wonderfully built his body was, how enticing. _

_Remus' heart fluttered strangely in his chest when Sirius, or Padfoot, named after his dog animagus form, used to help Remus during his transformations, plopped down next to him, brushing against his arm accidentally. He wanted so bad to turn and pull Sirius into a long kiss, to hold him in his arms. _

_**Wait, what! **_

_**Yes, do it. We want this, **Moony, the werewolf inside of him, argued back. _

_**No, no, NO! Padfoot is just my friend! That's all. **_

_**No, we love him. We want him to be ours. **_

_**NO! Padfoot is a friend. He would never want more, anyways. Not with a beast like me. **_

_James and Sirius kept shooting Remus worried looks, unnerved by his strange quietness. A battle raged in his head. Moony claimed that Sirius was destined to be their mate, and Remus, tentative Remus, always answered no, that they were nothing more than good friends. Could never be more. Yet everytime the train jolted and Sirius' arm brushed against his, he felt a strange flutter in his stomach and tingles shoot through his arms. _

_That day, he figured out his love for Sirius. And it was unreturned, for it was kept secret, unknown by the one receiving it. _

The train jolted along the metal tracks, pulling Remus out of his thoughts. Sirius' skin brushed against his own, and he felt that same jolt of delicious electricity shoot through him. How he yearned to pounce on Sirius right there, to claim him as his mate. The wolf inside of him was growing desperate, already knowing that Sirius was the one. It pained Remus to be near him, to know that he could never have Sirius how he wanted. To know that Sirius could never love him back. It was slowly killing him inside, devouring his heart piece by piece.

"So, Moony, how'd your summer go?" James inquired from the bench across from his own, breaking him from his reverie.

Remus shrugged.

"Fine, I guess. Boring, really. Yours?"

Then, he settled back into quiet, listening to James go on about his trip to France over the summer.

Sirius gazed at Remus out of the corner of his dark eyes. Something was wrong with the werewolf. He could tell. His extra enhanced smell could pick up the scent of despair and longing emanating from Moony.

_Longing? Longing for what, _he wondered curiously. Maybe Moony had finally found himself a girl. Merlin knows he could get any one he wanted. Besides Evans of course, that was James' territory. Sirius still couldn't figure out why Remus had had only about three girlfriends in his whole time at Hogwarts. He was definitely handsome enough, with his smart, quirky, bookish looks and piercing pale blue eyes. Hell, he could probably get a guy if he wanted to.

A whistle shrilled up ahead, signalizing that the train had arrived at its destination. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but for Sirius it had a different name. For Sirius, it was called Home.

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**Yes, I know. It's kinda short, but the chapters will get longer. I promise. :**

**Read and review!**


	2. Anger

**Alright, here is the next chapter. Sorry it took so long for me to update! I was..errm..busy. **

**JennytheSpam- **Thank you! I don't think anyone has ever told me that before. lol. :) **Black'sCrystal- **Thank you. I'm sorry it took me so long to update. **Amberhawk- **AHH! Ok, I'm updating. -cowers- please don't hurt me. Hehehe. **MagicalWinry-**Aww, thank you! I'd like to think it's that good. lol. **Leanna-** LEANNA! -huggles- Yess, I know. S/R is madhotlovelikewoah. Duude. lol. **BitterRedIrony- **I like your screenname thing. : ) And this one is a little bit longer. I think. I'm glad you like it.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Although, owning Sirius would be rather nice. -evil cackle- Hehe.**

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**Ch. 2: **_**Anger** _

As Sirius plopped down onto the hard wooden bench at the Gryffindor table, he sighed gratefully. Glancing around, he noticed that nothing had changed, and that gave him a peaceful feeling of some sort. It was comforting to know that not everything had to change in the world. He glanced again at Remus, who had taken the seat beside him. Something definitely was wrong, and he would figure it out. He always did.

A murmuring broke out in the Great Hall, and Sirius glanced towards the overly large front doors. Sure enough, tiny little first years were scrambling in after McGonaggal, all of them looking terrified. Which was to be expected. Sirius snorted.

_I swear, the ickle little firsties get shorter every year_, he thought bemusedly.

James had a wicked glint in his hazel eyes. Sirius could only guess what ways he was thinking of to torture the first years. Poor little runts.

McGonaggal brought them all up to the Sorting Hat, shushing the ones who dared to whisper in her immaculate presence. He could still pick up some of them murmuring quietly, nervously eyeing the hat.

"Do you think we have to pull a rabbit out of it?" He heard a small boy whisper quietly to a girl standing next to him.

"Don't be _ridiculous_. That's foolish magic. All we have to do is put it on our heads. Although, I must say, it does look rather _dirty_." She sniffed haughtily and scrunched her nose in apparent disgust at the Sorting Hat's condition.

Sirius snorted. Smart-ass girl.

The sorting went by in a daze, unexciting after six years. However, Sirius did notice that the overly snobbish girl, whose name he discovered to be Marly Harden, was placed in Slytherin, much to her satisfaction. He glared at her small retreating back in disdain.

Finally, Dumbledore stood up in front of his regal golden chair at the Head Table, and looked down warmly at all of the students, sending a cheerful wink to the new first years, who were now seated at their appropriate tables. He cleared his throat, and the students immediately quieted. Sirius thought it to be amazing, how much power he had over everything. However, Sirius thought him to be a crackpot old fool this year. After all, he'd made James Potter Head Boy. How thick could you get?

Professor Dumbledore gave his usual the-dark-forest-is-forbidden-if-you-go-in-it-you-die speech, sending a meaningful glance at the Marauders. Sirius grinned back cheekily, as did James.

At last, Dumbledore clapped his hands with a flourish, and steaming piles of food appeared before them. Sirius groaned at the sight. _Oh, Merlin, it was good to be back_.

* * *

Remus waited patiently as Dumbledore finished his speech and clapped his hands for the food. He heard Sirius groan in pleasure at the mouth watering smell, and the action shot a bolt of electricity straight to his groin. Not able to help himself, he glanced over at the boy, and he forgot all about the food in front of him. Sirius' moist pink lips had parted slightly to allow the noise past, and his dark intense eyes had a glint of hunger in them. Remus gulped. His mind decided to start making rather exotic pictures of Sirius doing other _things_ than glancing like _that_ at the food. Quickly, he shook his head, trying to rid himself of those..wonderful.._wonderful_...images before someone noticed his rather prominent arousal. Regretfully, he peeled his lust darkened eyes away from Sirius and came face to face with Peter stuffing hot pieces of chicken in his mouth. His 'problem' died away rather quickly. 

Remus piled some mashed potatoes, chicken, carrots, and pork onto his golden sparkling plate. However, he could only bring himself to nibble on a few small pieces of the pork. Eyeing the rest of the food warily, he sighed and pushed his plate away. A soft touch on his arm startled him. Sparks of heat shot up his arm and filled him with warmth, and he immediately recognized who had placed their hand upon him. Sirius. Now that he thought about it, he was _sick_ of the sparks. Of the stupid bloody _pain_.

Everytime Padfoot _looked_ at him a piece of his heart broke off at knowing that he could never have Sirius. Not the way he wanted. And, Merlin, he did want him so bad. And he was sick of it. Bloody sick of the pain. _Damn_! Why couldn't the fucking pain go away? Hadn't he already suffered enough?

As the boiling anger filled him, he whipped around to face Sirius, and he _glared_.

"Don't touch me," he hissed, barely able to keep from exploding in anger at having fallen in love with Sirius. Why him? Why not some other fucking idiot!

Sirius' eyes widened, giving off the deer in headlights affect.

"W-w-what?"

"I said, Don't. Touch. Me."

Remus snatched Sirius' hand and pushed it roughly off of his arm.

"A-are you okay?" Sirius asked worriedly. He hadn't done anything! Not that he knew of anyway.

Remus could feel the blood rushing in his ears, the anger, that hurtful anger, filling him, constricting him. He snapped.

"No! I'm not bloody ok! And it's all your fucking fault," Remus roared, not caring that by now half of the Gryffindor table was gaping at the scene before them, along with Sirius. Abruptly, Remus stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall. He, Remus J. Lupin, became the first person to ever walk out of a Hogwarts Welcoming Feast.

James gazed upon Sirius with wide eyes.

"What did you do?" He croaked, still a bit shocked from Remus' outburst. That wasn't like Moony at all.

Sirius could only look at James with the same expression pasted on his face. He shrugged, and stood up.

And Sirius Black became the second.

_

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Wow, Sirius thought, a bit breathless, __I never knew that Rem could run that fast_. , Sirius thought, a bit breathless, . 

By the time Sirius reached the portrait to the Gryffindor common rooms, Remus had obviously already gone inside. Then Sirius realized something. He didn't know the password.

"Fuck," He whispered sullenly. The Fat Lady turned a disapproving eye upon him.

"Watch your language young man!" She screeched indignantly.

"Well, I would, if I knew the bloody password."

The Fat Lady frowned at him, clearly ruffled by his use of such pervasive language. Kicking the wall out of frustration, Sirius yelped as the sudden pain jabbed at his toe. A wicked cackle sounded above him. Hold on...he knew that laugh!

"Peeves!", He cried out jovially. "How's it going buddy?"

It was well known throughout the school that the only people Peeves listened to were the Marauders or the Bloody Baron. Silently praising his luck, he grinned up at the floating poltergeist.

"What can I do for you today, Mr. Padfoot?"

Peeves was also the only one aloud to use their nicknames.

"Well, Peevesy, I was wondering what the password to this here common room was."

The poltergeist nodded enthusiastically.

"That would be Horntail, sir. Yes, yes it would."

Peeves cackled gleefully again, and shot off, banging on suits of metal armor as he went. Sirius shook his head, said the password to the Fat Lady, and ran through the portrait hole, the Fat Lady glaring at him as he ran.

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**The End. Of chapter Two. Hehe. Please R&R! Because I so love it when you do. Reviews are likewoah.**


	3. The Death of Love

**Okie, next chapter! You all are just...likewoah. I love you guys. You review like crazy. And it makes me happy! **

**MagicalWinry-** Lol. I don't know. Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. -cues suspensful music- dun dun dun! Teehee. **Candycloudz13-** HAHA! Nice. I need nice slashy distractions from my own boring life too. lol. I loved that. **Pia O'Leary- **Thank you. Well, you'll see if you scroll a little bit downwards and read. :) Thanks for the review! **Erryl- **Teehee. I do too. I think it's sexy. lol. **smittyloveshpfic- **BWAHAHA. lmao. Alright, yes, yes, there will be action later on. Possibly. ;) **Tortallan Shadow- **me like the Sirius too. **Leanna-** Yes, yes, I know. Psh. How do you think I felt reading your fic? I wanted you to post the second after I finished reading. :) _And to tell him he should probably switch to decaf. _Oh. My. God. That was priceless. I loved it. Your madhotlovelikewoah. **casmut-** Aww, thank you! I really liked your review. You'll see where it goes. :) **MinervaEvenstar-** Lol. I'm sure it would. And, yeah, I know it was out of character. It shows that in this chapter. At like the very beginning. And he's all like -Oh my god, I'm an idiot.- But, yeah. Thanks! **JennytheSpam-** Thank you! Yes, Remus should get an award, shouldn't he? And Sirius...Sirius can have a medal. lol. **xFireSpritex-** Thanks! Here is more! **Jingleby-** Yes, poor remus! -huggles Remus- Teehee. Thank you!

**Ahh! Wow, that was a lot of reviews. And I'm terribly sorry if I missed someone. Please forgive me if I did. Anywho, chapter tres!**

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Ch. 3: _The Death of Love_

The door slammed open as Remus sprinted in, his feet coming to an abrupt halt as he stood before his bed. Collapsing onto it, he let out a long tired sigh.

_What have I done? What happened to my calm facade? Now James will figure it out, tell Sirius, and Sirius will reject me. And I'll die. Nice going_.

Remus groaned. Stupid werewolf curse. After he'd found out about his affection for Sirius and the male population, he'd looked into the mating habits of werewolves in _Wonders of the Werewolf_. Then he figured out that if your mate rejected you, you died. When he found out about that, he was just so fond of the werewolf that had bitten him. God, he was such an idiot. Why couldn't he just keep himself together! _Sirius happened. That's bloody why_, he snorted sarcastically in his head. Oh yeah, he'd made such a great job of his love for Sirius. Hadn't he just screamed his head off at him the Great Hall? In front of the whole entire school? Groaning again in frustration at himself, Remus buried his head in the fluffy white pillow at the head of his bed.

"Why me? Why did _I _have to be the one to fall in love with Sirius?" He mumbled into the pillow, the words muffled against the soft fabric. The bed creaked and sank slightly. Remus yelped, quickly scrambling into a sitting position. Sirius was sitting at the edge of the bed, staring intently at Remus with dark mesmerizing eyes.

"Moony, what did you just say?"

Remus felt himself go pale, the color quickly leaving his face. Sirius couldn't have actually heard him, could he? He gulped, a dry lump sticking awfully in his throat.

"N-n-nothing," he stuttered, trying to remain calm. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened in there. I didn't mean any of it. I really didn't." He swiftly changed the subject, looking at his lap and wringing his pale hands together. A soft hand, slightly calloused from many hours on a broomstick, cupped his chin, forcing Remus to look at its owner. Haunting pale blue eyes met dark smoldering orbs and, suddenly, the world spun. Only Sirius and Remus were left alone, grounded by the sheer power of their connection. Or atleast that's what it felt like. To Remus anyway. He didn't know about Sirius. Snapping out of his lust filled trance, Remus glanced down at his lap again, fidgeting out of habit.

"That doesn't matter," Sirius' voice was strangely thick and deep, and it sent shivers down Remus' spine. Shivers that he quite _liked_, "The only thing that matters is what you said before. Tell me. You can tell me anything, you know?"

Remus looked slowly up again, almost afraid to meet Sirius' eyes. For he knew that if he looked into them again, he would blurt out everything, and that definitely wouldn't be good. Not at all. He didn't fancy the idea of death at this moment in time, but he did it anyway. Merlin, he was an idiot. Almost as if his eyes had a will of their own, they connected with Sirius' again.

He stood up abruptly and began pacing the room, jerking a hand through his scruffy golden hair.

"I love you alright," He blurted, "And it's insane, going on like this. I'm torturing myself with the thought of you. I can't keep it in any longer. I want you to be happy, to find love, and I don't deserve yours. I can understand if you don't want to see me again," He looked up and gazed at Sirius with an almost pained expression, "But, oh Merlin, how I want to be the one to love you."

Sirius gazed back into a Remus' eyes, a surprised look clouding his features.

_Sirius is going to reject me. I knew it. Merlin, why did I have to say anything in the first place?

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_

Sirius sat there on Remus' maroon quilted bed, shocked out of his mind. Then, a thought came to flit across his mind. Daring him to think about it. Teasing him.

No. He refused to believe it. Yet he did anyways.

_Was this one of James' back to school pranks? I bet it is. Damn it! He knows how I feel about Remus, too! Fuck Prongs. _

A cold look swept over Sirius' eyes, creating a hard mask. Why would James torture him like this? And Remus was in on it too? Was this James' idea of a joke? Because it sure as hell wasn't one. How could Remus do this to him?

"Go."

The word sounded cold and harsh, and Sirius didn't even bother to look in Remus' direction.

"W-w-what?"

"I said leave. Now."

Sirius never noticed the sparkling crystal tears sliding down Remus' cheeks.

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Remus stumbled down the spiraling wooden stairs to the common room. It was still empty, the fire crackling in a sadistically merry way. Shouldn't the world be sad along with him? Yet, he barely noticed anything else about the place as he sprinted across the room. Flinging open the common room door, he fled out into the grand hallway. And he ran. And ran. And ran. His brain rationalized that he should probably get his arse over to the Hospital Wing, but the rest of him didn't care. The rest of him won. 

Eventually, he lost track of how far he'd run or where he'd gone. Blurs of portraits yelling at him to slow down and 'quit making all that bloody racket! You sound like a pig on heals!' Remus actually found that one quite funny. In a strange twisted way. He couldn't really find the means in him to laugh. After all, he was dying. And he could feel it.

He knew he only had a day left to live. The effects were overwhelming. His joints were becoming stiff, and his breath came in short ragged gasps, never actually leaving him with enough air to carry on. Finally, he stopped. The room was dank and cold, a faint gloom outlining the shadowed walls. It seemed to be perfect. The room mirrored death. And Remus was dying.

Collapsing on the floor, he drew in a shaky breath, his heart pounding painfully against his rib cage. He found that surprising, considering he'd thought that he didn't have a heart anymore. Sirius had torn it out, thrown it on the floor, and stabbed it with a knife, leaving it there to bleed. Wincing in pain, he clutched at his head. It felt like it was trying to split open and spill his brains on that cold dungeon floor. And Remus quite liked his brains.

The pain was all over now, shooting at his legs, chest, stomach, and arms. Everywhere. It felt like a thousand hands were taking knives and stabbing him in random places with psychotic joy, leaving one painfully twisted in his heart. Moaning in agony, Remus could feel the deep black depth of unconsciousness overtaking him. _No_! He wasn't ready to go under! Not yet! But it seemed that he didn't have a choice, for suddenly, pain overtaking him in an eminent wave, his world went dark.

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**Sad ending. Yes, I know. But, don't worry the story will go on. I'm not ending it here! -raises sword- Errm, right. Yeah, review please!**


	4. Bring Me Back

**Ok. Here is the next awesomely long chapter that I just typed. So you guys better review! Teehee.**

**Thanks for all of the reviews!**

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Bring **Me** _Back_

Sirius was still sitting on Remus' bed. Well, laying actually. _It smells like Rem,_ he discovered, his head nestled into the soft starch white pillow. He hadn't moved since Remus had gone. Couldn't move. If he even twisted an inch, lifted his hand to scratch his nose, everything would be real. Remus telling him that he loved him would be real. It all just being some sick joke would be real. Remus running away would be real. And Sirius didn't think he could deal with reality. For if he did, he just might crumble.

Nevertheless, he somehow, still had a hard time believing that James would do this to him. And Remus! Not once in his life had he suspected Remus of doing something like this. Doing something so...so..._Sirius_ like. So _low_.

His stomach growled in protest at not being fed enough. Yet did he get up? No. Sirius didn't think he could ever get up. Never. In fact, maybe he should just lay here forever, and float into an abyss of nothingness. Of numbness. He never wanted to smile again. To laugh. To cry. To scream. To hug. To kiss. To _love_. To _hate_.

For love had crushed him. How could he have fallen for his best friend? How could he have not realized it sooner? How? _God_, when he'd felt someone looking at him like _that_ at the beginning of the feast, he thought he would come right there at the Gryffindor table from that _stare_. That haunting, pale, lust-burning gaze. It had tortured him. Then he'd turned to find that it was Remus staring at him like that. _Remus_. His friend. His _male_ friend. And then he had figured out everything. How he'd always worried about Rem a bit more than the others. Always feeling closer, and more protective of him. How he'd felt sick when Remus had almost died after one of his full moons. If Rem had died then, Sirius had thought that he might just follow.

And now, lying here on Rem's bed, he realized three very important things.

1. James Potter had just played the cruelest prank imaginable on him.  
2. Remus had participated in this torture.  
3. Sirius was inescapably in love with him.

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The stabbing pains roused Remus from a particularly nasty dream. He'd lived the experience with Sirius all over again. And again. And again. And then again, but with a much more crueler twist in which Sirius had told him that he was disgusting and horrid and that he never wanted to see him again. Remus shuddered. Yet, the dreams never started to slowly fade away into his head. They stayed at the surface, playing over and over in a kind-of sadistic slide show. 

_"I love you alright," I blurted, "And it's insane, going on like this. I'm torturing myself with the thought of you. I can't keep it in any longer. I want you to be happy, to find love, and I don't deserve yours. I can understand if you don't want to see me again," I looked up and gazed at Sirius with an almost pained expression, "But, oh Merlin, how I want to be the one to love you."  
_

_A cold look swept over Sirius' eyes, creating a hard mask.  
_

_"Go."  
_

_The word sounded cold and harsh, creating an unbearable stinging in my ears.  
_

_"W-w-what?"  
_

_"I said leave. Now."_

_  
_And then it played again, and again. He didn't think he could bear the torture any longer. Yet he _did_... somehow.

A little while later, after writhing on the floor in pain after what seemed like hours and hours, he decided to do something. He was going to write Sirius a letter. It was a good thing he always carried a piece of paper and a quill in his shabby pockets. With trembling hands, he pulled out the rough parchment and white feathered quill. Slowly at first, and then quicker and more deliberately, he put words on the empty yellow paper.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. That's the farthest thing from what I want. The truth is, if for some reason you didn't believe me, I love you, Siri. More than anyone should ever love anyone else. So if I hurt you somehow, I apologize. Don't worry, though. I won't be a bother to you anymore. Because, you see Siri, I'm dying. If you still love me at all, then I'm sorry, so, so sorry, for ever leaving you. Merlin, this is harder than I thought it would be.- _

Remus paused, unable to go on for some reason. It wasn't the pain shooting at his arm like a thousand needles. Oh no, it was the pain in his bleeding heart. The pain of realization. He guessed it had never fully occurred to him before. He was _dying_. The morning light would never shine on his face. The laughing wind would never rustle his hair. Food would never fill him so that he thought he would burst. Sirius would never smile at him again with that egotistical sureness. And that's what killed him the most. _Sirius_. Never again would he see the long elegant hair, hear his loud barking laugh, watch his dark handsome eyes dance, gaze upon the muscled body Sirius had worked so hard to achieve, smell the musky Quidditch cologne smell that only belonged to his love. Suddenly, dry sobs wracked his body, making him cry louder at the pain it was causing him. Oh Merlin, Sirius.

Desperately he began to spill words onto the paper, as if he would never write another letter again. That was thing. The fact was, he _wouldn't. _Tears spilled on the parchment, creating dark stains as his hand flew back and forth across the paper in a mesmerizing rhythm.

_I don't know if you'll be sad that I'm dying. Maybe you will. For some odd reason, I hope you don't feel so. I hope you never have to shed a single tear. Because you don't deserve it. Something as beautiful as you should never feel pain. Never. So I hope you hate me. I hope you find joy and love and laughter in life. Because I love you. And I'm dying. That's what kills me. Never being able to see you again. I'm sorry if it disgusts you that I'm writing this, but I have to. You have to know. God, I'll miss your beautiful large smile, your loud barking laugh, your arousing musky smell, your dark humorous eyes. I'll miss you, Padfoot. You.  
_

_In case your wondering at all, I'm dying for a reason pertaining to the werewolf in me. If you want to know more read Wonders of The Werewolf. I don't think I could explainwhat's happening to meto you in this letter.  
_

_And if you ever loved me, even just a little bit, know that I'll always love you. I'll always be with you. For if it's true that spirits really fly around the Earth realm when they pass on, know that my love for you is deathless. With my last breath I ever take, I shall whisper your name. Know that if a soft breeze fans your cheek, it is my breath. If a cool air passes by your temple, it is my spirit. How gladly I would wash away with my tears every little spot on your happiness, because I love you, Sirius. Even when death do we part.  
_

_But, oh Sirius! I feel gratified to God that he has let me spend these blissful times with you. That he's showed me some happiness and love in this world. I shall wait with sad patience until we meet again. In another world, in another time. For it is not time for you to go yet, however may it be mine.  
_

_I shall love you always. Forever and beyond.  
_

_All my love,  
Remus _

He'd done it. Finally, he'd finished the letter. Now, he knew he could leave this world in peace, knowing that Sirius would get his letter, and maybe, just maybe, forgive him. With that, he drifted in to a slightly pain induced, yet blissful, sleep.

* * *

Sirius still hadn't gotten up, when James came up, a slightly scowling Lily Evans following him. Evans glared in his direction. James grinned, and it slowly faded when he noticed that Sirius didn't smile back. Not even a little lift of the corner of his mouth. In fact, it looked more like he was frowning. 

"Hey, Padfoot!" James decided on a cheery approach.

Sirius ignored him. He couldn't believe James even had the nerve to talk to him. Yet, he knew he couldn't hold his anger in. He never could. So he let the boiling rage spill out in a gigantic, twisting, ruthless wave.

"How dare you," he growled, quite dog like, "How dare you have the nerve to even _talk_ to me! That was low, James. What you did was low. Lower than anything I've ever done. Lower than me selling out Remus to Snape that one time. You knew how I felt about him! You _knew_. I thought you were my _friend_! Well, you're not being a very fucking good one, are you," He was screaming in his anger now, "HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS? AND REMUS! YOU GOT HIM TO _HELP_ YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU KNEW I LOVED HIM!" Suddenly, his voice went eerily quiet and low, barely a whisper, "I loved him Prongs. And now he thinks I hate him. Maybe I do hate him. I fucking hate both of you."

Lily's face was stark white, matching the color of the pillow Sirius' head had just been propped on. James mouth was agape, his warm hazel eyes wide and full of shock and confusion. He managed to recover quick enough. Sirius stood there, fists clenched, and breathing heavily.

"W-what did I do? I never did anything."

Now it was Sirus' turn to gape. James couldn't really be _denying_ everything, could he?

"Never did anything? Never did anything! Oh, yeah, _Prongs_," Sirius spat out the word, "you never did one fucking thing. I mean, getting Remus to tell me that he loves me as just some cruel prank is nothing. Nothing at all. No big deal, right? You know what? Fuck you."

But James seemed not to have paid attention to anything after _"I mean, getting Remus to tell me that he loves me.."_. He suddenly grinned widely, bright white teeth flashing.

"Moony told you! I can't believe he actually did it! Of course, he'd never told me that he loved you, but it was quite obvious. All the lustful stares, blushes, spacing out in class. Go, Moony!"

James began to do a jig, pulling a very confused Lily into his arms and kissing her merrily, before jumping around the room some more. Now a very shocked, confused, and slightly dazed Lily stood there, lightly touching her lips.

"You might want to stop doing that. I knew it was a prank. I told Remus to go away. To leave."

James' frantic dancing stopped abruptly, a fearful look in his eyes. His skin went a ghostly white once again, all the jubilant color draining away.

"You did w-what?"

Sirius was a bit confused. Sure, he might of hurt Remus' feelings a little, but it wasn't life threatening.  
James groaned and dropped his head in his hands, slowly rubbing them down his face.

"Damnit, Padfoot, you're such an idiot!"

"ME! I'm the idiot! Let me tell you-"

"Shut up! Where did Remus go? Where the fuck is he?"

Watching James frantically tear through his trunk, Sirius was utterly bewildered. Lily gesticulated in exasperation and walked out of the room, muttering something about _"Oh, and boys call girls dramatic. Humph!".  
_

Forgetting his turmoil for a second, Sirius asked in a confused voice, "Prongs, what are you _doing_?"  
James waved his hand in a hold on gesture, gave a whoop of triumph, and pulled out...the Marauders Map?

"You are such and idiot, Padfoot! Didn't you ever read about Moony's condition! You _rejected_ him. You were his _mate_. His _mate rejected _him. He's dying!"

Sirius' tanned face went an unusual shade of whitish green, as though undesided, and he gulped, a painful lump forming in his throat. Snatching the map from James, he hurriedly searched it for Remus J. Lupin. There! He appeared to be in a dank dungeon room, a little bit away from the Slytherin dorms. Running as fast as he could, Sirius bolted out the Gryffindor House, and towards his destination. _How wrong he'd been_.

He sprinted along the elegant corridors, blurs of color flying past him. Time seemed to go by hours instead of seconds. Eventually, the setting became gloomy and dark, cold air stimulating his senses. Almost there...

Coming to an abrupt halt, Sirius looked before him. The metal medieval looking door stood openin front ofhim, and the room gave off a strong smell of pain and torture. Itreeked ofmold and mildew.

"Rem?", He called out softly, shivering in the feeling of death that blanketed the room.

No answer.

"Rem!"

Still no answer. A light emitted from his wand at his muttered _'Lumos'_, banishing away the darkness into small corners. The sight before him shocked him so painfully he thought he might die.

* * *

**Yes, I know, another horrible, horrible, cliffhanger. Don't you just looove me? Haha. **

**Anyways, the letter written to Sirius, parts of it were ideas gotten from Sullivan Ballou's letter. Very sad story. This dude wrote an amazing love letter to his wife during the civil war saying how he might die and he hoped that she knew how much he loved her. How she was his greatest gift. He died two weeks later. The letter never reached his wife.**

**How messed up is that?**

**I almost cried when I read that. Okay, well, review please!**

**If any of you want to readSullivan Ballou'swhole letter, which i recommend because it's so amazing, go to:**

http/usinfo.state.gov/usa/infousa/facts/democrac/23.htm

**You'll have to copy and paste that.**


	5. Contact

**It's the next chapter! Yay! -is excited for self- Hehe. I think you guys will like this one. :) And this post is dedicated to Gianna for curing my siggy retardedness on Hee.**

**smittyloveshpfic- **Lol. Yes, I guess I am. Teehee. I think the end of this one is a sort-of cliff hanger too. Whoops. ;) **DontCallMeLawrence- **Hmm, I'll have to check that book out. I thought she never got it? That's what my history teacher said. **chaeli.mee.- **Thanks. I try to update as soon as I can. :) **ilovecoldplay3- **-huggles- Thank you! Your amazing. You really are. **Black'sCrystal-**Teehee. Did I do that? **MagicalWinry-** I think I've had every person yell at me for my cliff-hangers. Hah. Yes, I know I should. **Pia O'Leary- **Lol. Thank you! There's a bit of a twist with James in this chapter. Your not going to like it very much. -evil laugh- **Outematamakin- **First of all, I'm really sorry if I just spelled your screenname wrong. It's wayy long. Teehee. That rhymed. Anywho, thanks! And, yes, he is. **Leanna-** -evil laugh- YES! I am! You've finally caught me! Mwahaha. lol. Thank you. I like confused!Lily too. **AKANinaBlack- **Well, apparently my cliff-hangers are also quite upsetting. Lol. Don't worry, I'm updating now! **candycloudz13- **HAHA! Yes, that's it! That's why I write so many cliffhangers. lol. **Feymist- **Your review had me cracking up. I'll try and get that in for you soon. -wink-

**Thank you soo much for all of the reviews! They're love. **

* * *

Chapter 5: _Contact_

_Oh God_. He wasn't moving. Sirius shook his head. He wouldn't believe it. He _refused_ to believe it. And yet, it wouldn't go away. Remus was still lying on this cold floor, pale and lifeless looking. Dead looking. Why wasn't he getting up? Why wasn't he getting up and saying this was just a stupid joke? _Why? _

And then it hit Sirius, hit him like a ton of bricks. Remus was dead.

"No."

He choked out the word, and suddenly, he ran towards Remus, dropping to the floor beside him. Kneeling down, he threw his arms over Remus' body, noticing how unnaturally cold it was.

"Oh God, Remus, no."

Remus had to be alive. _Maybe I should run and get help_, he thought, looking for any signs of life in Remus. _His_ Remus. But then, with complete certainty, Sirius knew that he couldn't leave to get help. He couldn't leave to go anywhere. Not without Remus. If Remus was truly dead, then so was Sirius. His soul was worthless without Remus. Dead. _Gone_.

He lay down next to Moony, and spooned himself against the boy. A faint rustling whispered beneath him. Sitting up again, he looked down. A folded piece of paper lay under him. Curiously, Sirius unfolded the paper and began to read it. It was in Moony's handwriting.

_Dear Sirius_,

So it was for him. Interesting.

_I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. That's the farthest thing from what I want. The truth is, if for some reason you didn't believe me, I love you, Siri. More than anyone should ever love anyone else. So if I hurt you somehow, I apologize. Don't worry, though. I won't be a bother to you anymore. Because, you see Siri, I'm dying. If you still love me at all, then I'm sorry, so, so sorry, for ever leaving you. Merlin, this is harder than I thought it would be.- _

God. Sirius didn't know if he could keep reading. Fresh wet stains, made by Sirius' tears, blotted out old darker ones. Shaking slightly, Sirius forced himself to read on.

_I don't know if you'll be sad that I'm dying. Maybe you will. For some odd reason, I hope you don't feel so. I hope you never have to shed a single tear. Because you don't deserve it. Something as beautiful as you should never feel pain. Never. So I hope you hate me. I hope you find joy and love and laughter in life. Because I love you. And I'm dying. That's what kills me. Never being able to see you again. I'm sorry if it disgusts you that I'm writing this, but I have to. You have to know. God, I'll miss your beautiful large smile, your loud barking laugh, your arousing musky smell, your dark humorous eyes. I'll miss you, Padfoot. You. _

_In case your wondering at all, I'm dying for a reason pertaining to the werewolf in me. If you want to know more read Wonders of The Werewolf. I don't think I could explain to you in this letter. _

_And if you ever loved me, even just a little bit, know that I'll always love you. I'll always be with you. For if it's true that spirits really fly around the Earth realm when they pass on, know that my love for you is deathless. With my last breath I ever take, I shall whisper your name. Know that if a soft breeze fans your cheek, it is my breath. If a cool air passes by your temple, it is my spirit. How gladly I would wash away with my tears every little spot on your happiness, because I love you, Sirius. Even when death do we part._

_  
_Sirius broke off with a sob. How could Remus write such wonderful things about him? He'd been such a fucking idiot! He'd killed Remus, and Remus was kind enough not to even blame him. Remus loved him. What a horrible mistake he'd made. And Remus hadn't even told him! When Remus had confessed to Sirius that he loved him, he hadn't said that he could die without Sirius' approval. Sirius didn't deserve Remus. Merlin, but if Remus was alive, he'd try. Loving Remus wouldn't be a challenge.

_But, oh Sirius! I feel gratified to God that he has let me spend these blissful times with you. That he's showed me some happiness and love in this world. I shall wait with sad patience until we meet again. In another world, in another time. For it is not time for you to go yet, however may it be mine. _

_I shall love you always. Forever and beyond. _

_All my love,  
Remus _

Sirius sat back on his heels. And, then, unable to hold back the forceful wave of anguish, he broke down again. The tears flowed down his paled cheeks freely, unrestrained. Sobs racked his body, and he let the paper slowly flutter to the floor as he dropped his head in his hands. Crying seemed to be the only thing he could do. Maybe he was still breathing, he didn't know, didn't really care. Anything that he could have loved was gone, and it was his fault. _His_!

Sirius drew his hands away from his face, and gazed down at Remus again. He was still beautiful. Devastatingly so. Involuntarily, one of his hands reached out and swept a soft golden lock from Remus' forehead. His hand lightly brushed down the cold face, and trailed over the pale, slightly pink lips. They were so soft under his touch, and Sirius knew that if Remus had truly loved him, then Sirius owed this to him. He leaned down, and lightly, ever so lightly, brushed his lips against Remus' own.

Suddenly, those perfect, pale, soft lips were kissing him back. Sirius gasped and pulled away. Sparkling pale blue eyes stared up at him.

"Rem!" He cried and threw himself on top of the boy below him. Quite suddenly, he began to sob into Remus' shoulder, wetting the boy's soft worn black robes.

"I thought you'd left me. I thought you'd died! Oh, Remus, I couldn't have lived without you. Never. I would have died too," Sirius pulled up and stared intensely down into those haunting blue pools, "I love you, Rem. More than I've ever loved anyone or anything else."

* * *

Remus felt shocked beyond belief. Had he really just said that?

"You...you do?" He croaked. Sirius kissing him had brought him back, he knew that. It had filled him with such a golden warmth, he couldn't resist it. And Merlin, he wanted those lips on him again.

"Yes. God, yes." Sirius' voice was husky and low, and it sent shivers down Remus' spine. So he said the only thing he could think of at that moment. The only thing he wanted to think of.

"Kiss me."

And Sirius did. His smooth inviting mouth crushed against Remus'. The kiss was anything but gentle, and Remus welcomed it gratefully, kissing him back full force, with everything he had. Sirius' surprisingly soft mouth kissed him again and again, leaving Remus gasping for breath. A warm tongue trailed along his lips, silently begging for entrance, and Remus' moaned, readily accepting. Their tongues raked together in urgency, caressing and exploring, battling in an intricate dance for dominance. This cold deadly room didn't seem so cold anymore, but stifling hot.

Sirius' mouth left his, and he groaned in frustration, but was soon satisfied as that wet hot mouth connected with his neck. It licked, nipped and sucked greedily on his smooth pale flesh. His long slender fingers curled in Sirius' soft ebony hair, as his talented tongue lightly flicked over Remus' collar bone. God, that was driving him _insane_. Roughly, Remus pulled Sirius' head back up and smashed his own mouth against Sirius', pushing his tongue hurriedly inside the hot cavern. Strong tan hands ran through his hair pulling him flush to the lean trim body above him. Remus could feel Sirius' hard length pressing against his own arousal, and he groaned, arching his-

"Oi! Think you two could breath for a minute!"

Remus yelped and pulled away, glancing wildly toward the doorway, where the voice had come from._ Uh-oh_, Remus thought fearfully. James. Sirius groaned, almost as if in pain, and buried his head in the crook of Remus' neck.

"Having fun were you?" James smirked, sounding disgusted.

Sirius lifted his head to turn and glare in their friend's direction. "Yes, actually I was. I would appreciate it if you could leave so I could get on with my _fun_."

Glancing confusedly between Sirius and James, Remus lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. "So..so you're okay with this?"

Remus fidgeted uncomfortably. James was taking an awfully long time answering him.

* * *

**Well, it is yet again the end of another chapter. Review please!**


	6. Pain

**Ok. I'm posting! -does dance- Teehee. You guys better review this one. It's longer. I think. Hehe. **

**Thank you to those who reviewed the last one!**

**Hpfan4life1313- **Teehee. I don't know what's going to happen. Ok, well maybe I do but I'm not teelllliing you. You'll just have to read and figure it out. A bit hysterical there? Lol. Thanks for reviewing!

**Leanna- **ZOMG! I totally cracked up when I read that last part (coughSEXcough). You're wonderful. Yes, I know. You're going to hate him even more in this chapter. -cackles evilly- Mwahahaha.

**ilovecoldplay3- **You're very confuzzling. This is Gianna. You toooold me so. So hah! Teehee. And thank you, love. _Leave James! GOSH. I want me some real slashy goodness. _BWAHAHA! That had me cracking up. That might possible happen later. Possibly. Hehehe.

**candycloudz13- **Aww, thank you! It will be pretty long, I think. And, lol, I'm glad you liked the slashyness. It will get worse. Or better. Depending on how you look at it. Wow, that just sounded really funny, now that I think about it. _Depending on how you look at** it**. _Ha. Right, anywho, thanks!

**I love your reviews! Thye make me feel all bubbly inside. Teehee.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: _Pain_**

_God, Padfoot is an idiotic wanker_, James thought, sighing at his friend's idiocy as he ran full speed to where Sirius had gone to. He'd seen the map before Sirius had. He knew where he was going. Coming to an abrupt halt at a rusty metal door, he looked around to make sure noone was watching, and grabbed the half broken handle. Hold on, was that _moaning_ coming from in there? Maybe Moony was still alive!

Although, the person moaning in there didn't sound in pain at all. In fact, the person sounded quite happy. James threw open the door and rushed inside. He blanched. Well, apparently Remus was just fine. Was that Sirius' tongue in his mouth? Suddenly, something inside James snapped, and he felt a wave of revolting nausea at what his friends were doing. It was just...just..._wrong_!

"Oi! Think you two could breath for a minute!" He shouted, recoiling in disgust.

He heard Remus yelp and Sirius groan in frustration, burying his head in Remus' neck. This, the two of them, it was just too much.

"Having fun were you?" He sneered.

Sirius lifted his head to glare at him. The boy's hair looked a tinge wild, as though someone had run their fingers through it, _which they had_, and his full lips were puffy and red.

"Yes, actually I was. I would appreciate it if you could leave so I could get on with my _fun_."

Remus looked confused. He turned his pale blue eyes to James, eyebrows furrowed.

"So..so you're okay with this?"

James thought about it. _No, _he wanted to yell out, _It's bloody disturbing! And..and..wrong_! Instead, he looked once more at them, Sirius pushing down on Remus, laying on him. He didn't think he could handle his friends being together, _snogging_ in front of him. The thought made him shiver in disgust.

"No," he snarled. And then he walked away, footsteps echoing eerily in the cold dungeons.

* * *

Remus blanched and stared after one of his best friends in shock, blue eyes wide and hurt. One of his best friends hated him. Sirius was staring at him, concerned. 

"He doesn't matter," Sirius whispered soothingly, a slight edge apparent in his voice,

"We can still be together. I'm not going to leave."

Right then, Remus felt a wave of self-hate consume him, because he knew what he had to do. He wouldn't let Sirius live without his best friend. He couldn't do that to him. Sirius deserved to have James as a friend, and it killed him to have to say what he did next.

"We can't be together." His voice sounded strange to his ears, tight and strained.

"What!" Sirius yelled, surprise and hurt flashing in his dark onyx eyes.

Remus looked down, unable to look at Sirius. If he did, he might loose his courage.

"I...I..said we can't be together."

"Why? Just because that bloody git thinks so!" Sirius was shouting, and Remus felt like sobbing and never letting Sirius go. But he knew he had to. Sirius probably didn't love him that much anyways. Maybe he was just a fling. God, it hurt to think that.

"I can't," his voice broke, on the verge of hysteria, "I can't be with you. I...," Remus didn't think he could bare what he was going to say next. He couldn't do it! He was a coward! And then, somewhere inside of him, he remembered reason, and he said it. A deep numbness washed over him, and he didn't feel anything. "I don't love you."

Sirius gasped. He grabbed the paper on the floor and shoved it in Remus' face.

"What about this letter? What about that kiss! Did it mean nothing to you!"

Remus was numb, the only feeling left was pain, waves and waves of pain.

"Nothing."

Sirius gaped at him.

"Nothing?" His voice came as a whisper, so soft and sad that Remus almost died right there.

"No. Just leave. Go!"

Remus turned away from him, unable to look at that enticingly handsome face when it was so contorted with pain.

Pain that he had caused.

* * *

Sirius reached out to touch Remus' cheek softly, thought the better of it, and walked out of the cold dark room, shoulders drooping in utter defeat. He didn't feel the newfound warm air embrace him as he walked out of the room reeking of death. He didn't feel anything. His soul had died, and there was nothing, nothing at all, _left_ to feel. 

Well, maybe one thing. A thing he didn't want to feel, but it slowly consumed him, and he fell to the floor, sobbing.

_Pain.

* * *

_

Remus rolled over and curled into a fetal position around the warm spot where Sirius had just been.

_Oh God, what have I done, _he thought miserably, _What have I done? _

Tears slid silently down his pale cheeks, rivers of pain and sadness.

The wolf in him was angry, furious. It wanted him to run after Sirius, the wolf knew he was his mate, and beg Sirius to forgive him. To tell him that he loves him. Wants him. _Needs_ him.

He'd seen how torn Sirius had looked when James rejected the idea of them being together. How hurt. And he'd seen need too. The need to run after James. To tell him that it was a joke.

And it had hurt Remus more than any words ever could.

Remus wanted Sirius, needed him. Sirius had saved him this time, but maybe he wouldn't be so lucky the second.

Sure, Sirius hadn't said he'd rejected him, but it was that look. That two-second flash of regret at what James had said. The, _maybe I shouldn't be with Remus after all. _

Slowly, Remus managed to push himself off the floor. He was going to die again. Or, well, he hadn't the first time. Obviously. But werewolves died without there mate beside them, and Sirius was anywhere but close. Remus drew a shaky breath, almost collapsing, but he managed to hold himself up. And he would continue to.

He wouldn't burden his friends with his death. During the whole painful process, he would act fine, so that nothing was expected. And then, when the pain suddenly became to much, he would fall and never give up again. After that, he wouldn't ever have to feel the horrible mind numbing pain he felt now. Why hadn't Sirius been more forceful. More persistent. Maybe he never really loved him at all. Maybe he'd lied. Just to make Remus feel better. Yes, that was it.

And Remus' heart broke all over again. God, he didn't want to leave Sirius! Fuck, he wanted Sirius back _now. _Remus groaned in pain and frustration. Painstakingly slow, he began to walk out of that cold dank room to warmer place, with cheer and an enveloping sense of home. But, as the warmth purged his body of the cold pain and horror, one place was never reached, not even with a little flicker.

His heart was still frozen solid.

* * *

**Ok, so, I know, it's a horrible ending to the chapter but...yeah. I had to do it. Lol. **

**Please review!**

**Because I love you. ;)**


	7. Look What You've Done To Me

**Hmmkay. So, here's the next chapter. Yes, I know it took me forever. Anywho, I just read over my last chapter, and I realized what an idiot I was. Did you realize that I said Remus' eyes were a hauntingly pale _blue_? Yeah, it just so happens that his eyes are _amber_. So I'll be calling them amber from now on. Just thought I should let you know.**

**Black's Crystal- **Gosh no! That would be a horrible ending! It's only the ending of that chapter! **JennytheSpam- **I don't know why I made James that way. I sort-of like him like that. Where he acts all idiotic and then realizes what a git he's been and fixes everything. **California smells funny**- HAHA! Lol, your right. this does make James seem extremely Ron-like. And thank you! It's good to know that I write them well. And there will be more. Much, much more. ;) **Myndi- **Lol. Tylenol 3's, eh? Have you ever taken Tylenol PM beofre. That stuff like knocks you out in a second. It's crazy. **chaeli.mee.- **Yeah,I guess it was sad. And it's still goign to besad, but it will be unsad soon! **01-FAD3D- **Thank you! **smittyloveshpfic- **Haha. Psh. You wanna go? Are you threatening me? Teehee. I'm kidding. **Amberhawk- **-runs far far away withfrom scary person holding flame thrower-Lol. I'm updating! **Pia O'Leary- **I am extremelysorry for any brain damage I caused you. Lol. Well, James is still being a stubborn ass in this one. But he will change! Heh. **ilovecoldplay3**- ZOMG. I love you. You'rehilarious. And, you know what, that's really strange. Santa can be rearranged to spell satan. HAhaha. And I am happy that your heart is shattered. -laughs evilly- **scarlet locket-** -picks up identical bat- Mwahahaha. We shall beat James Potter in to being unhomophobic! **Leanna- **Psh. You know what? You're so right. I think that just mght happen...but not in this chapter. And it's payback! Your staories have done that to me. I think I actually cried after reading a few of them. It was torture. **Red-Light-Fever- **I've had every single person tell me that they hate James Potter right now. Lol. It is very understandable. And thank you!

**Your reviews are all so wonderful. They make me happy! So you should review this next chapter. And make me all happy again!**

* * *

**Chapter 7: _Look What You've Done To Me._**

A week had passed since the..._incident. _Or whatever it was that was making Peter's friends act so strange. Well, James was still normal, besides the odd serious glances he kept throwing at Padfoot and Moony. The whole problem seemed to be lying with them. And Peter didn't know what the hell the problem even _was_.

They avoided eachother like they both had the plague or something. Did one of them? Maybe...

No. Stupid idea. They wouldn't avoid eachother because of that. And, Moony! Good God, his friend looked like he'd been run over by a fucking train! Plus two tons of elephants on board. In other words, he looked like death itself. Only in human form.

Peter sighed and plopped down on the padded burgundy couch in the Gryffindor common room next to James. He stared determinedly at the wavering blue, yellow and orange flames that danced in the stone fireplace. Hazel eyes stared at him curiously.

"Something on your mind, Wormy?"

Peter directed his gaze to James, instead of the flickering fire.

"You know something about Moony and Padfoot that you're not bothering to tell me. I'm part of this pack...group...whatever, too! I deserve to know!"

James stared wide eyed at him for a second, as though not believing that Peter could figure that much out. Peter wasn't that stupid. He quickly covered his shock up.

"Ermm...I don't know what your talking about."

His hand came up to scratch the back of his neck nervously, and his hazel eyes darted away, apparently finding the worn chair next to the couch amazingly interesting. Peter snorted.

"I'm not an idiot. And even if I was, you're a horrible liar. No wonder you get so many detentions."

"Hey! I resent that!"

Suddenly, the Gryffindor portrait swung open loudly, and Sirius traipsed in.

_So much for my interrogation, _Peter thought glumly.

* * *

"What do you resent, Prongsie old boy? Could it be the hair that decided to grace your oh so funny shaped head?" 

James glared. Sirius smirked.

"My head is not funny shaped! And, actually, I was just resenting that I had to hang around such an ugly old _dog_ all the time."

Sirius clutched his heart in mock pain, looking completely insane because of the gigantic smile that graced his full mouth. It didn't really work for the pained look. Although, the circles under his eyes did. He hadn't gotten much sleep after the thing with Moony. Hell, he hadn't gotten _any_ sleep. Those enchanting golden eyes kept haunting him, burning him with their gaze. In fact, he could feel them on him now. Remus was over in one of the over stuffed chair close to the fire. Sirius had memorized the tawny hair colored boy's position after starring at him for so long. He shook his head; he didn't want to think about that, about Remus. It hurt him too much, and he was afraid of what would happen if he broke down in front of a crowd of Gryffindors. No. His mind switched back to James and their ever increasing chance of a play fight. The dog inside of him immediately became excited at this prospect.

"Prongs! I mean, you can insult me, but there's no need to bash the canine species! Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners? Well, I suppose she was trying to shut that large trap of yours all the time and just didn't have the time to-"

James suddenly sprang up from the couch and tackled Sirius to the floor, yelling his legendary battle cry. Sirius whooped. They began to wrestle playfully, and immediately a crowd gathered around, cheering them on. Most of them were girls. They'd take any chance they could get to see a small glimpse of the _wonderfully_ built bodies of Padfoot and Prongs. During fights, the rolling and tackling usually caused their shirts to rip or get scrunched up or something along those lines. In fact, it generally looked like they'd just shagged eachother senseless (which the female population enjoyed greatly. The _look_, not what it looked _like._) Sirius, however, thought this revelation to be rather revolting. James? That was like shagging a brother. Um, ew.

Remus, on the other hand. Now, he was definitely shaggable. That slim lean body, those glowing amber eyes flecked with gold, and that ruffled mop of tawny hair. Sirius shuddered just thinking of him. A pain in his side jolted him back to the present and away from Remy la-la land. James, apparently, found it amusing to continually punch his side. Ah, well, this _was_ a play fight. James1, Sirius0. A rumbling growl escaped his throat and he wrapped his tanned arm around James' neck, squeezing the air from his lungs. James gagged. Sirius1, James1. Prongs' face was beginning to turn an ugly shade of red, and Sirius started wondering again. He pondered of what Remus would like with his face light red, panting from Sirius methodically thrusting inside of him. Sirius could picture his smaller frame under him, panting and moaning. The thought made Sirius painfully aroused.

Suddenly, a swift, well delivered punch was shoved into his gut, pushing all of the air out of him. He toppled over with a gasp, and James fell beside him. Sirius1, James2. _Shit_. James won. Sirius didn't like loosing, but he wouldn't be a bad sport. That would be un-proper, and if he had learned anything at all from his deranged family, it was that being proper was as important as breathing.

Both were panting heavily, trying to suck in as much of that clean crisp air as possible. Sirius groaned and pulled himself to his feet. Cheering sounded around him. He grinned haughtily and bent down to pull James to his feet. James leaped up, and they both bowed to their oh so wonderful audience.

Sirius slipped on a charming grin and turned to James.

"Good..err..game, mate."

James smiled in return.

"Yeah, it was…..I kicked your arse."

Then he sprinted behind a group of giggling sixth year girls before Sirius could sock him. A busty blonde sidled up next to Sirius, trailing a dainty finger down his well muscled chest.

"Did you get hurt at all," She looked up through thick lashes, pouting her lips slightly, "I could make it all better."

Sirius grinned. Yet inside, he couldn't help but wish that Remus had been the one who'd offered.

* * *

Remus felt his heart clench with jealousy as the beautiful blonde girl, named Leila, placed her finger on Sirius' chest. After watching Sirius grin charmingly at the girl, he knew he'd been right before. Sirius thought of him as nothing but a two minute fling. A good snog. Hell, everyone knew Sirius went both ways. If a guy was hot enough, who was he to say no? That's what Sirius had always improvised. 

Remus had been an idiot during the previous week. After figuring out that he really didn't _want_ to die, even if he had to live without Sirius, he'd read as many werewolf information books as he could get his hands on. It turned out that a werewolf didn't actually need to be coupled with their mate to survive, only near them. So, Remus concluded, as long as he stayed friends with Sirius, he could keep on living.

Although, as he watched Sirius lead the blonde up to their dorm rooms, he felt a burning pain pierce his heart. How could he do this to him? Wasn't Sirius his best friend? Aren't best friends supposed to _care_? Obviously not.

Then again, it was his entire fault. He'd been the one to tell Sirius that he didn't love him, didn't care for him other than in a platonic way. God, what a fucking idiot he was. But he couldn't have taken James away from Sirius, and now, Sirius looked happy. And if Sirius was happy, then that was good enough for him. But sometimes, every once in a while, Remus wanted Sirius to just _look_ for once. Look at what he'd reduced him to. Of course, Remus didn't blatantly broadcast his pain. Oh no, it was very well hidden, but if one looked close enough they could see it. A deep burning pain that swirled in his golden eyes like irate thunderclouds.

Now, a week later, everything seemed normal. Potions still consisted of wild pranks thrown at the Slytherins, one causing Snape's nose hair to turn neon pink and grow to ten feet long. James and Sirius were back to their normal Marauderish selves, and James had become close to Remus again, albeit it had been a bit awkward. Peter still participated in all of the pranks and hung onto them all like a blood deprived leech. Everything had gone back to the way it should be, but Remus couldn't help but wish some things hadn't.

* * *

**Ok. This is the end of another CHAPTER. Sorry if I confused people last time. When it's the actual end of the story, you'll know. So, review please!**


	8. Rage and Want

**I'm finally putting up another chapter! Yes, i know it's not that long, but you'll have to make do. Review please! Because I love reviews. It's like fanfiction Christmas! Teehee.**

**ilovecoldplay3- **Yes, Gianna, you can make it 'all better' for Remus. You have my permission. HAHA. ilu. **JennytheSpam- **Well, uhhh, I think you just sumarized the story so far right there. Rant much? Heeheehee. **Black's Crystal- **Don't feel stupid! I would never have ended it that way. -shudders- That would have been horrible.**smittyloveshpfic- **Thanks! I'm sorry you cried! I didn't mean to make anyone cry. Although, that is quite a compliment. :) **Amberhawk- **Wow. I'm updating. **Nano-Chan- **That's ok! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you had a good one:) **01-FAD3D**- I will. Most definitely. Like now. **scarletlocket- **_And Remus.  
Well, he gets a nice cup of hot chocolate and a cuddle. _HAHA. I cracked up after I read that. And, yes, James is an idiot. But he gets better. **Shadow of ZAFT- **Aww. Thank you! I'm glad you like it so much! **QuiLeo92**- _James must be killed. _Mwahahaha. It is the Jamnes Potter destruction! Teehee. Thanks! **candcloudz13- **_o, James and Sirius rolling around on the floor? yay! _HAHA. -laughs- I thought that was funny. ;) **ShaMak- **Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! **Leanna- **_Can I please have permission to smack Remus upside the head? SRSLY. _-snorts- Why of course, my dear. I'm glad you like my Sirius. That makes me happy. Yay! **death-by-inkpen- **Thank you! **DeviStarre- **Thanks! Hehe. I'm glad you thought that was funny. :) And, thank you also for the grammar tip. I sometimes read over it too fast and don't notice those things. I'm glad someone told me!

**Thank you so much to all of my reviewers. You guys are amazingg likewoah.**

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Chapter 8: _Rage and Want._

Remus hated the full moon. He really did. And the full moon just happened to be tonight. Now, Remus had gotten over the fact that he had to be confined to a broken down old shack once a month a long time ago, but now…it just..wasn't fair! The full moon just _had_ to be on the night right before a huge Transfiguration test! Maybe the world hated him. That was it. Well, either that or Professor McGonaggal had developed a severe dislike for him over the last few days.

He sighed, slumping down onto his rumpled bed. It was already 7:30. He'd have to leave soon. Groaning, he massaged his temples, trying to ease away an ever increasing migraine. Really, how the fuck was he supposed to study in werewolf form! Werewolves couldn't even _read_.

But they could see. And they could smell. And they could sense presences.

And right about now, a certain _someone_ was walking up the stairs. _Shit_.

The door opened, and a rather rumpled, yet still amazingly gorgeous, Sirius Black traipsed into the room. Remus noted his ruffled clothing and flushed cheeks. Probably snogging some bloody girl. Or more. Wincing at the thought, Remus moved to get up. He couldn't stand it anymore. Being in a room alone with him. It was just too much. And he really couldn't deal with it on the full moon.

All of his senses heightened as he walked by Sirius, and they began screaming at him to tackle the boy and ravish him senseless. But Remus _couldn't_. Sirius _didn't want him to_.

Chocking back a small sob, Remus reached the door and grabbed the brass knob. Before he could open it, Sirius stepped in front of him, blocking his way out.

"Sirius…what?"

Remus' voice hitched, and he looked away. He couldn't stand being this close to _him_. A rich musky smell drifted off of Sirius and filled his nostrils, almost as if it was teasing him. Tantalizing him with its seductive scent.

Remus backed up, trying to pull away from Sirius. God, this was just too fucking hard. And quite suddenly, Remus banged into the door, a lean body pinning him roughly against it. Sirius' whole form was pushed against his, and he could feel every contour of Sirius' body pressing into his. It felt like sweet torture. He gasped, trying to stop himself from pressing his lips against Sirius' full red ones. God, his lips were tingling with want, and a passionate burning ache filled him, an ache of need. The need to be filled completely. By Sirius, only by Sirius.

"Why do keep doing this Remus? What did I do to deserve this? Every time I walk into a room, you leave. What did I do Remus? What?"

His amber eyes darted to floor in shame. They prickled slightly with tears at the sound of Sirius hurt tone, but he pushed them back. He wouldn't cry in front of Sirius. Not now.

"I'm sorry. You did nothing Sirius. Nothing at all. I…I have to go. It's almost time."

Still refusing to look Sirius in the eye, Remus tried to shift out of Sirius' iron grip without touching him too much. This closeness, Merlin, it was eating him alive.

"Fuck, Remus! What do you mean nothing! Look at you! You can't even look at me," The sharp ringing tone in his voice trailed away, and he spoke with a quiet reserve that almost scared Remus to the point of breaking down and giving into the temptation, "What have we become?"

Remus couldn't stand it anymore. This nearness. And Sirius voice. It had him way to aroused for his own good. It pained him to not be able to touch Sirius. This deep, burning pain. Oh God, the piercing need, it was destroying him. Everything screamed at him, screamed at him to take Sirius in his arms and show him just how much he wanted him.

"I'm sorry," He chocked out, "I..I need to go."

Using the werewolf strength in him, he shoved Sirius away, almost crying at the loss of contact, and bolted through the door.

* * *

Sirius watched Remus run out the door, run away from him. Why was his friend doing this to him? Couldn't he see that it was killing him? Wasn't Remus supposed to be the observant one? 

And, quite suddenly, Sirius felt angry. Furious. A red haze clouded his vision. Why couldn't Remus just fucking listen for once?

Involuntarily, his fist flew out and slammed into the wall in his anger. He screamed in frustration. But the pain had felt good. It had taken some of the pain on the inside away, the pain of being _unwanted_.

He hit the wall again. A loud crack resounded from his hand. Something had probably boken, but_, shit_, he _liked_ the pain. He wanted _more_.

His clenched fist smashed against the brown plaster again, and again, and then again. Blood seeped out of the cuts and scrapes on his knuckles, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything. Only about the _pain_.

Grabbing the nearest thing next to him, which happened to incidentally be a picture of just him and Remus, he chucked it at the wall. It shattered. The sounds rang sharp in Sirius ears. Shattering was good.

Wildly, he looked around for another object. A Chudley Cannons poster stood out proudly on the wall above Peter's bed. He ripped it.

When he couldn't find anything else satisfying enough, he smashed his hand against the wall again. Hitting things took the ebb away. Wooden splinters dug into his palm.

"Pa…Padfoot?"

Sirius whipped around only to come face to face with James Potter. His chest heaved in harsh pants.

"What do you want?" He growled.

James looked offended.

"Don't get mad at me! I didn't do anything. I'm not the one you were bloody _snogging_ a we-"

And, quite suddenly, a bloody fist rammed into the side of James' face. His head snapped to the side with the sharp impact, and the bitter tang of copper filled his mouth.

"What the fuck!"

Sirius towered over James.

"It's all _your_ fault you know," Sirius ground out, "You just couldn't have been bloody happy for me and Remus. No! You had to go and fucking ruin it!"

James gaped. Sirius stared at him imploringly, willing him to hit back, to let Sirius take out his anger. The reality of what he'd done to his friends seemed to dawn on him right then. Oh God. What the hell was wrong with him?

"I…..," James had never been good at apologizing. He gulped nervously, "I'm sorry."

He looked down at his feet, ashamed.

Sirius' shoulders slumped as the anger drained out of him.

"It's ok," Sirius sighed dejectedly, and his voice cracked slightly with emotion, "I just….I just want him so bad."

James smiled softly. He'd seen how Remus had looked the past few days. Like hell. Vowing to concoct a plan to get Sirius and Remus together, James gently put his hand on Sirius' shoulder and motioned to the clock.

Peter suddenly burst through the door, panting heavily. Looking around wildly, he noticed the James and Sirius were still in the room, and he calmed down tremendously. Sirius nodded and James fetched his invisibility cloak, throwing it over the three of them. They had a werewolf to accompany.

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**That should be the end of the chapter then.** **Now that James realizes he's been a jerk, things will get a lot more interesting. Hehehe.**


	9. Only

Okayy. so I'm finally updating! And, it's the last chapter.

-cries-

Well, actually, I have the Epilogue after this, and then I'll be done. You guys were amazing. I got so many reviews for the last chapter. Ilubjoo!

-giggles-

**Myndi-** HAHA. I feel your pain. You're so right. Mmm. It's actually kinda kinkkyy. -le giggle- I want to watch him beat up a wall. **Shadow of ZAFT-** Aww. Thanks! **Black's Crystal- **It seems that everyone is blaming James. All well. He deserves it. Heehee. He's EVIL. But he gets better. OH YAY. **JennytheSpam- **That's okay! I like rants. They entertain me. : D I feel bad for Remy and Sirius too! But something happens in this chapter. MWAHAHA. **smittyloveshpfic- **Oh, they'll get together. Believe me. They'll get together. -grins evilly- **MagicalWinry- **I KNOW. **candycloudz- **Aww. Thank you! I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter. But I'm acually slower in the summer. Because I have to do so much. Haha. It's ironic. I know. **Bitter Red Irony- **I DO TOO. I luff it. Sirius/Remus anguishy is awesome. It's kinda anguishy this chapter. You'll see.;) **ilovecoldplay3- **HAHA. You're just so nice Gianna. But, yes. They're boys. They have to be stuck up. -gigglesnort- **scarlet locket-** Yes. James was quite a git. Heehee. Poor you. I'm sorry. I wouldn't want to burn my bat either. :) I know. I just want to hug Remy. Well, actually, I always want to hug him, but...yeah. NEVERMIND. **Midnight Angel13- **Thanks! I'm glad you liked it :) **The Kiss Of Death- **Haha. Thanks! I'm updating! **Legolas19-** Thank you: D **QuiLeo92- **I didn't have the heart to beat him up more. I'm a sucker. I know. Hehe. **Nille- **Aww. Thank you! That made me feel special. -blushes- **Krazi Kelli- **That's because Sirius and Remus ARE the cutest couple. Heehee. :) **cuteandklutzy- **HAHA. Please don't kill me. I really don't feel like dying yet. :) **Fazkleto- **You know, everyone keeps saying that. I guess it's a good thing I made him realize what a git he was. **Chantal Flameshadow- **HAHAHA. OMG. Your review made me crack up. If you want to, you can. Yes, James actually does have a brain. It's unbelievable, I know. :) **xOonethousandtearsshedxO-** Aww. DON't DIE! I'm updating! I'm updating! -le giggle-

Thank you so much for reviewing! They make me want to keep writing:)

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**Chapter 9: _Only_**

The wolf could smell him. The musky, rich, earthy smell swirled in and out of his nostrils, tantalizing. Oh God. It painedthe wolfto not be able to see him. An anguished howl escaped his elongated mouth, echoing into the dusky corners of the Shrieking Shack. Tonight the Shack would be haunted, by the phantom want burning inside of him, howling angrily at the moon. His golden orbs pierced the shadows, searching, _searching_.

Suddenly, the door was pushed open, and a stag stole inside, a rat balanced between its antlers. The wolf rose up on it's hind legs, his sharp teeth bared in a snarl. But something didn't seem right. He _shouldn't_ be growling at them. The stag lifted up its head, baring its elegant neck. The sign of submission. The wolf cautiously moved forward and experimentally sniffed its neck.

_Friend, _the smell spoke to him, calming. He dropped down onto all fours. But where was _he?_ The one he needed, wanted. Another howl ripped from his throat, piercing the night air. A shaggy, large, black dog bounded in, tongue lolling in excitement. The wolf sniffed the air.

_Yes. Mate. _

And suddenly his anguish didn't seem so consuming, so threatening. _Overbearing_. So he played, and played, and howled, and slept.

And he was happy.

* * *

Remus awoke the next morning, groaning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

"Fucking _hell_," he muttered sullenly, his head pounding. The mornings after full moons were always the worst. It felt as though someone had decided to whack him on the head with a sledgehammer. It _hurt_.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty!" a voice sang out merrily from his left, and he immediately winced at the loud ringing sound.

"Hello to you too, Prongs," Remus replied sullenly, rubbing his temples to try and ease the aching in his head.

"How are you feeling," James asked, his eyebrows creasing in worry. He _always_ got like this after the full moon. Remus was tempted to call him Mum.

"Fine," he replied shortly, letting his hands drop back down to the white sheets. Remus looked up and was surprised to see the scruffy haired boy studying him intensely.

"Sirius is completely beside himself with worry, you know," James whispered, noticing how Remus stiffened beneath the sheet.

Darting a look around the otherwise empty hospital room, Remus arched an eyebrow.

"Sure seems like it," he bit out, sounding bitterer than he'd meant to.

_Probably off shagging some girl_, Remus thought, _hope he's having a bloody good time._ A warm hand squeezed his shoulder.

"He really loves you, you know," James stated, as if telling Remus about the lovely daisies by the window.

Remus's jaw clenched.

"And _you_ of all people are telling me this why?" Remus groused.

Hazel eyes darted to the floor in shame.

"Look, Moony, I know I've been a real prat this week. I'm sorry," James muttered, glancing up guiltily at the sickly boy.

"Finally figured that out, did you?" he snapped, scowling at the ruffled form beside him.

"Yeah. It takes a while for me to get it through me thick skull. I can be a bit slow sometimes," James joked, trying his best to ease the tension radiating between them.

"A bit slow? A _bit_ slow?" Remus laughed, sounding slightly hysterical.

"Alright! I was being a right bloody git, and I deserve to be stuffed," James consented, bowing his head.

Remus sighed.

"You realize that you totally ruined the only chance I ever had with Sirius, don't you?" Remus whispered, his voice catching.

James's only response was the wicked gleam that lit up his hazel eyes. Oh, he had something good planned. Yes, he _did_.

* * *

Sirius shifted restlessly among his bed sheets. He couldn't sleep. And there was that noise, music maybe? 

He glanced over at the clock on his bedside table; the neon lights flashed 3:00 A.M. Sighing in resignation, he slipped out of the covers, letting his bare feet hit the cold wooden floor. The winter air flowing in through one of the open windows raised goose bumps along his arms, and he shivered. He threw on a white t-shirt that clung tightly to his form and a black robe, leaving it open. Hey, he didn't know who was down there. Smirking and failing to notice the emptiness of Remus's bed, he crept silently out of the dorm room. The polished stairs creaked softly under his feet, but no one slept light enough to wake because of him. Except Remus.

_Remus…_the name rolled through his mind tantalizingly, and Sirius closed his eyes, trying to push the ever-present thoughts of his best friend away. He shoved open the portrait door, ignoring the sleepy reprimands coming from the Fat Lady. The sound, that music, sounded clearer. It seemed to be coming from somewhere near the Astronomy Tower. He listened intently, following the sound to the bottom of a stairwell.

Higher and higher he climbed until finally he reached the door to the Astronomy Tower. So it had come from there. The door squeaked as he opened it, but the person didn't seem to notice. As Sirius stepped into the room, he noticed with surprise that the person playing the music was Remus. A mahogany bench gleamed under him, and his dexterous fingers flew across the white and black keys.

The music stole Sirius's breath away. Melancholy notes rang out, filling the air with an anguished song. And the water…

Remus was crying. Tiny droplets cascaded down his pale cheeks, falling onto the white keys, and Sirius's heart gave a painful squeeze. It was the most heartbreakingly beautiful thing he'd ever seen. The music seemed to almost flow through Remus. Stepping back into the shadows, Sirius continued to watch. He couldn't have stopped if he wanted to. Not once did Remus halt throughout the whole song, even though Sirius could plainly see his shoulders shaking.

The song ended, a sharp note ringing out into the cool dark night. Sirius couldn't take it anymore, standing there watching Remus cry. It made him ache with sadness. He walked over and sat down gently next to Remus, wrapping the warm robe around his still shaking shoulders. The golden curly haired head snapped up, and amber orbs widened in surprise. Sirius's hand came up to wipe away the tears, not even realizing that he had salty drops flowing down his own face.

"Sirius…" Remus breathed, a sparkling droplet curving around his quivering bottom lip.

"Don't cry. Please don't cry," Sirius whispered fiercely, a shaking hand reaching up to wipe the tear away. His thumb pad, roughened from handling a broom, traced Remus's bottom lip tenderly, and a small gasp emitted from the parted pink lips. An ache rose inside of Sirius, and he wanted nothing more than to take the trembling boy into his arms and kiss his tears away.

Amber eyes searched his own, and their faces moved involuntarily closer together, seemingly pulled by some sort of magnetic force.

"God, Sirius," Remus whispered desperately, "why do you keep doing this to me? I can't take it anymore."

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," Sirius choked, his warm breath mingling with Remus's own. Suddenly, there lips were crashing together and tongues were tangling, stroking and nipping anywhere they could reach. Sirius ran his fingers in Remus's hair, tugging him desperately closer. This hunger was insatiable. He _needed_ more.

Remus's hands slid up the front of Sirius's shirt, pressing into the hard muscles of his stomach and chest. Sirius groaned, breaking away to nip and lick down the pale throat offered before him. He heard Remus gasp, and nimble fingers tugged on the hem of his shirt, pulling it upwards. Sirius stopped, allowing enough time for Remus to pull the shirt over his head and for him to rip off Remus's own.

They crashed together again, electric jolts racing through veins at the fiery contact of skin against skin. As Sirius ran his hands over every inch of bare skin he could reach, Remus wrapped his long arms around Sirius's waist, pulling himself onto the warm lap in front of him. Their hips ground together, and both boys moaned at the delicious friction it created between them.

Sirius pushed up hard, slamming their erections together, and Remus keened, arching into Sirius. The burning pressure built up in Sirius's groin, and he didn't know how much longer he could last. He nipped at Remus's bottom lip, trailing his lips across the pale smooth jaw. His white teeth tugged gently on Remus's earlobe, while still thrusting shallowly against him.

"Remus," Sirius whispered, the name rolling off his tongue like a forbidden pleasure, and Remus cried out, rocking his hips faster. And suddenly Remus threw his head back, letting out a sobbing moan as he pulsed against Sirius, and, _ohfuck_, it felt so _good_. Watching Remus come against him did it for Sirius, and he gasped out Remus's name, _shititfeltsofuckingbrilliant_, thrusting wildly against him. It was the most earth shattering orgasm he'd ever had.

Still shaking in pleasure, Remus leaned his sweaty forehead against Sirius's and panted softly, "What exactly does this mean?"

Sirius nuzzled Remus's glistening neck and replied, "That I love you."

Remus tugged Sirius's head back up, amber eyes blazing.

"What about all the…girls?" Remus asked, trying warily to read his expression. He didn't want his heart broken. Not again. But after tonight, if Sirius pushed him away, he didn't think he'd be able to take it. Being so close to Sirius had felt amazing, and Remus couldn't live without it now.

Sirius clasped Remus's face in his hands and stared intensely into those startling golden eyes.

"They were nothing, a distraction. It's you Remus. It's always been you. _Only_ you," he whispered, kissing him soundly on the lips.

Remus pulled back, breathing hard.

"That's good," he panted harshly, "because I love you too."

And Remus was happy.


End file.
